I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
