he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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