i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
