It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
