Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
