one two three fourrrrnication!
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My dick has a subreddit
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
