The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
