There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize