you guys were way drunker than both of me
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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