This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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