Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize