no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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