I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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