just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
