in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
