This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize