this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
