Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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