My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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