yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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