I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
