i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
