I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
