Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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