No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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