Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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