all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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