i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
