I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
