Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
