I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
