Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
