did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
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Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
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I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.