The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
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I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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