That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
