how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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