I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
