I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
