she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
How external is "for external use only"?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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