he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
