I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
