she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
