Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
we're so committed to being not committed
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
