I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
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