goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
how does that bad decision feel?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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