We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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