I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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