Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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