i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
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Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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