Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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