U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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