giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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