i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
