its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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