Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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