He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
