I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
