dude i'm inner monologue high
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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