Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
